In person
Some of it only happens on land.
A few days with a small group of men, a fire that someone has to keep, and no way to be somewhere else.
There's work that can be done over video, and there's work that can't. The difference isn't mystical. It's that a screen lets you leave — a tab, a glance, the small constant option of not being fully here. Take that away for three days and something in a man settles that will not settle any other way.
Surfing the Self — October 8–11, 2026
The 4th annual men's coastal retreat. Four days on the Oregon Coast — a small circle of men doing real work. Pacific City, under Cape Kiwanda: a private house, shared rooms, shared meals, one fire.
$1,500 – $3,000, sliding scale. Lodging, all meals, and everything we do together are included.
On ceremony
Parts of this work are ceremonial, and are led with collaborators who carry those lineages.
A word about how that's handled, because it matters. Ceremony here is offered by people with the standing to offer it, not assembled from books. Nothing is borrowed for atmosphere. If an element belongs to a lineage that isn't ours, either someone whose lineage it is leads it or we don't do it.
You will not be asked to believe anything. Men arrive at these weekends devout, agnostic, and allergic to the whole category, and all three get something out of sitting by a fire with their own life in front of them.
What it isn't
It isn't therapy, and it isn't treatment. No diagnosis, no chart, no clinical relationship — you are a participant, not a patient. There are no substances of any kind at these gatherings.
Men currently in acute crisis are not a fit for a retreat setting, and we'd rather tell you that early than have you find out at two in the morning a hundred miles from home.
Inquiring
Small groups fill by conversation, not by cart. Tell us what's bringing you and we'll tell you honestly whether the next one fits.
Come sit by the fire.
Groups are small and fill by conversation. Tell us what's bringing you.